Tourniquet
by Im Hiding From Haters
Summary: Suicide, it always leaves a mess.


**Hey guys, I'll keep this short read and review! I see this as a continuation to Pain and Insanity but if you don't feel like reading it, it can be a stand alone. Enjoy!**

* * *

_I'm sorry. I really am, I don't know how it got to this. After the event you discovered IT and I actually felt relieved. There was hope or at least I thought so, after it the voices came back and everything became worse. They told me a lot of terrible things and I just couldn't handle it. Maybe I should have come to one of you but to me and to Them it's too late. Maybe if I told you this wouldn't be happening, just maybe I wouldn't be crying my eyes out and writing this note. Please don't be driven to this like I have, you all have so many people who would miss you and I don't. I'm sorry that you'll have to see me like this and I'm sorry that I'm simply too weak to survive Them. __Just remember this is not the fault of any of you it's mine, I should have survived on my own and I should have been stronger. Goodbye everyone and **I'm sorry.**_

* * *

Tears stung at their eyes as various thoughts race through their minds, _"Please this just couldn't be happening!" "No, no he would never do this again would he?" "He wouldn't leave us, please don't leave!"_ They thought he getting better, that he wasn't like he was before, they thought he wasn't doing _that _anymore. How stupid they were and how stupid they still are. Hoping somehow all his problems, regrets and pain would disappear and just go away, they were so foolish!

His demons never went away, they haunted him every second of every day but they were just couldn't see it. They were blindsided by their hope and fear, the thought that he wasnt getting better didn't cross their minds as a result.

For that the poor boy paid the price, _his life. _Maybe if they weren't so blind there would be a chance he would still be breathing right now, that the beautiful crimson that used to keep him alive would still be flowing through his veins, but they didn't see the obvious signs and all hope of that has simply vanished.

They were prepared for just about anything as they stumbled towards the bathroom. Ready to see a fragile, broken and pale form with blood oozing from his wrists, for a young boy to be limb on the floor with a empty bottle of pills in his hand and they were even prepared to see a limp frame dangling by his neck from a rope but at first glance there wasn't even a body.

Until they stepped in to see a form in the bathtub enveloped by ice cold water tinted red. When they finally gathered the courage to look at his face he looked peaceful almost like he was just sleeping but it was foolish to hope that he really was just that. _Sleeping. _It always left a mess emotionally and physically but not always for the latter. Maybe if they had been kinder, more supportive and just spent a little time with him this wouldn't be happening but it's too late for that now, he's too far gone. Now he's ready to be where he always wanted to be, ten feet under.

The only words they could make out from his grave through their tears was his first name, "_Lloyd"_

_I tried to kill my pain_  
_ But only brought more_  
_ So much more_  
_ I lay dying_  
_ And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal_  
_ I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming_  
_ Am I too lost to be saved?_  
_ Am I too lost?_

_ My God my tourniquet_  
_ Return to me salvation_  
_ My God my tourniquet_  
_ Return to me salvation_

_ Do you remember me?_  
_ Lost for so long_  
_ Will you be on the other side_  
_ Or will you forget me?_  
_ I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming_  
_ Am I too lost to be saved?_  
_ Am I too lost?_

_ My God my tourniquet_  
_ Return to me salvation_  
_ My God my tourniquet_  
_ Return to me salvation_

_ (return to me salvation)_

_ I want to die!_

_ My God my tourniquet_  
_ Return to me salvation_  
_ My God my tourniquet_  
_ Return to me salvation_

_ My wounds cry for the grave_  
_ My soul cries for deliverance_  
_ Will I be denied Christ_  
_ Tourniquet_  
_ My suicide_

_ (return to me salvation)_  
_ (return to me salvation)_

**_Tourniquet- Evanescence_**


End file.
